


Six Cops and a Baby

by Brigantine



Category: due South
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-07-28
Updated: 2011-07-28
Packaged: 2017-10-22 05:36:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/234415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Brigantine/pseuds/Brigantine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Frannie's got a grumpy infant on her hands.  (Post CotW.  Fraser/Kowalski is implied.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Six Cops and a Baby

**Author's Note:**

> I honestly did not know how to categorize this. Ticky box for goofy?

Dewey flinched sharply at the high pitched shriek, as though he'd unexpectedly got a hat-pin to the trousers. He realized he'd mis-typed the word "cunning" into an unfortunate configuration, tore the arrest report out of his machine, and started over with a sigh.

Huey winced at the rapidly advancing noise, but granted, "Good pair of lungs. I'm thinking maybe a future in opera."

Frannie burst through the squad room doors, the decibel level rising noticeably as the infant in her arms wailed inconsolably. She spotted Kowalski. "Oh, thank God!"

Kowalski tilted his chair backward another degree, observing dryly, "Kid sounds like a 737 with sand in the engine. What's up?"

Frannie thrust her infant daughter forward as Kowalski held his arms out. "She's teething. I've tried everything, but nothing works, and Ma's not feeling well - what's that smell?"

She sniffed toward Fraser, who draped bonelessly over Kowalski's desk, quietly exuding the odors of wet flannel and distillery fumes. "Fraser, are you drunk?" She turned accusingly to Kowalski, "Ray, what did you do to Fraser?"

Kowalski and the small child in the little pink t-shirt scowled at one another from arms' length. "Lisa Marie Vecchio, you and me need to talk."

"Drenched," Huey supplied Frannie helpfully. "Long story."

Fraser giggled into the surface of Kowalski's desk, stuck his tongue out, and gave a slow, thoughtful lick to Kowalski's stapler.

"Waste of Glenlivet," Huey mourned.

Lisa Marie kicked tiny bare feet in mid-air, thrust out her lower lip, and sniffled defiantly at Kowalski.

Ray Vecchio and Elaine entered the squad room, escorting between them a dapper little man named Elvis Madigan, who was strongly suspected of embezzlement to the tune of nine point seven million dollars.

Vecchio came to an abrupt halt.

Hard on his heels, Elaine and Elvis backpedaled a step and shrugged at one another.

Until now Vecchio had never conducted a side by side comparison of his sister's child and, well, any man he knew personally. The thought had simply never occurred to him. But now, glancing from his niece to Kowalski to his niece to Kowalski, he noted the way that Lisa Marie's hair stood up straight, yellow and fluffy as a duckling's. Vecchio was suddenly sandbagged by math: similar fine bone structure, similar blue eyes, similar punk blonde hair. Matching attitudes.

"Oh my God," Vecchio whimpered. He needed to sit down. "Frannie, you _didn't!_ "

Kowalski settled the baby on his lap and stuck his left thumb into her mouth. She grabbed hold of Kowalski's fist with both little hands and began gnawing eagerly on the first joint.

Frannie tilted her chin at her brother. "I didn't what?"

Vecchio flailed eloquently toward Kowalski, who puffed short, warm breaths into Lisa Marie's duckling hair and smirked at him. "Him! You didn't - of all the guys you could have done it with, you did it with _him?_ "

Lisa Marie seemed particularly keen on grinding her upper gum against the hard surface of Kowalski's thumbnail. She uttered a series of small, blissful snorts.

"Of course not," Frannie scoffed.

Vecchio sighed with relief.

"We used artificial insem--"

" _No, no, no!_ " Vecchio threw up his hands in self-defense, as though the use of technology somehow intensified the horror. "Do not tell me that! I cannot know that!"

Kowalski cackled, "If it makes you feel any better Vecchio, Fraser held the plastic cup for me."

Elaine giggled.

Frannie rolled her eyes.

Vecchio looked ready to either faint or shoot somebody.

Fraser started singing quietly, "C is for cookie, cookie starts with C…"

Lisa Marie grinned and bit down harder on Kowalski's thumb.

 

\--#--


End file.
